I.

cold. hunger. for a single moment the moon peaks through the haze, as if to let me know its gaze may still find me from afar.

how long have I been in this place? 

now that the darkness has settled again I have to pick up my feet. with every step I feel the snow sink its teeth a little deeper, eager to consume what's left of my declining body weight. the land here must feel the hunger too. 

memories of my previous life are quickly fleeting. all I can do is move forward. 

I hear the harrowing call of a bird ahead pierce the cold fog. finally I may have a chance. I burrow my fingers into the snow, scrambling to find a rock before the numbness makes it impossible. there we go, I clasp on to the freezing stone and rip it from its grave. 

I wait patiently for the creature to make the fatal mistake. judging from the calls, it’s smaller than I'd hoped, but it’s all I have for now. I slowly trod forward, as silent as the snow allows. the bird calls out once more, my beacon in the night. I can barely make out the shape of a tree in its direction. 50 yards. keep pushing. 

40 yards. 30, 20. I wait. 

the bird calls out with its last breath. “I'm so sorry” I mutter as the thud finds its way to my ear. 

I sprint forward and fumble around to find its lifeless, feathery body. plucking those feathers by the handful, I disregard every instinctual fear of disease as I bite into its soft, raw flesh. 

how long had it been since I'd eaten? days? weeks? time seems to have ceased existing in this place. all that matters now is this meal. 

the moon peaks at me, watching me decay in to savagery. I quickly duck behind the birds home until the light fades. I wont let this poor creatures death be meaningless.

I wonder how the bird felt in its final moments. was it cursed with awareness? did it feel my gaze, as I feel the valley’s?

after taking in every last scrap of meat, an idea finds my mind. I'm disgusted with myself but it may come to save me. I break a fair sized branch off of the tree, and tie the sharpest bone I can find to the tip with the birds skin. 

armed and fed, it’s time to keep moving. I'll need to find a better hiding place before day breaks again. 

as I trek along, I feel my brain beginning to make use of the nutrition. thoughts, memories. things I hadn’t felt in who knows how long. I still don’t know when or how I got to this place. maybe I never will. I struggle to even recall life before the valley. I. I pray, to whatever god will listen, that I can find my way out. 

eventually I make out a large thicket on the horizon. with all of the willpower I can find, I pick up my pace. 

as the first beams of light break the sky, I find myself under the canopy of the trees. I may make it another day. I push some ways further in, where the light hardly reflects off of the snow. I hear the songs of several birds, celebrating sun rise in their little sanctuary. I decide this is a good place as I can hope to make refuge. I found some foliage to take cover in, and let myself rest until night fall. 

once the darkness sets in I find a large tree, and begin to scoop the soft well of snow out from around it. as I dig I can’t help but wonder how ancient this tree may be. how many terrifying days has it witnessed here? how many seasons has it watched pass by? is it safe from the horrors of this place, or is it complicit in whatever grand plan is at work?

after the well is large enough for me to move around in, I begin to break branches off of the towering monolith. I could swear I hear screams with each snap. eventually I have enough to build myself what can barely be described as a roof, but it will do. shelter.

II.

now to test my luck with the spear. the thought of eating two days in a row was unimaginable only yesterday. apparently it still was. I slowly paced my way around the thicket for what must’ve been hours before even hearing a single bird let sign of their existence slip. when the call finally came, I failed to find its source. after a while another bird called out, and I thought I'd won. there it was, nested on a branch only a bit up ahead. with every bit of strength my body still had, I let the spear fly. fuck, not even close. the bird quickly took off.

I spent the rest of the night searching to no avail.  I hunkered back to my shelter to await the sunrise. the birds of course began to sing again; mocking me in my nights failure. how nice it would be to catch one now, but I can’t risk moving into the light. I still feel the land searching for me, and I dare not let it know I'm here. I let my malnourished body dose off, I'll have to try again tonight. 

as the second night fell on my hideaway, I quickly got to hunting again. after a few more failures, luck came my way. this bird was much smaller than the one I'd caught before, but it was at least food. I ran back with my prize and quickly tried to get a fire going. after nearly an hour, my hands began to hurt from the friction of the wood. I could feel my body growing weaker by the minute, and gave in to the temptation of the flesh in front of me. 

a mistake I would pay for. 

by morning I felt the pain clawing in my stomach.  I spent the day vomiting just outside my well, any amount of sleep was a pipe dream. by night the worst of it had at least subsided, but my whole body ached. I thought about trying to start the fire again but I could barely grasp a stick, let alone pick it up.

after another day, the sickness subsided. I felt the weakest I'd felt yet. ironic, considering this was the most stable shelter I’d found. dreaming each night I'd come across food. sometimes reality is better than a dream, but certainly not now.

as another night set in I clawed my way out of the well. food. fire. tonight I must have both or it will be my last. crawling across the snow, too weak to walk, I catch a glimpse of something beautiful. a large bird, unlike the two I had killed previously, loomed ahead. I knew I didn’t have a chance at hitting it in my current state, but that didn’t matter. a bird like that must be a predator, and where there's a predator, there’s prey. 

I waited meticulously for the bird to start its dive. whatever it was after, it had to be mine. as the bird plunged to the ground, I let out all the fear I'd been holding in a piercing scream, flinging the spear at the bird with my last drop of energy. 

I laid there for a moment in shock. it worked. the bird immediately took off, dropping whatever it had clasped on to. I slowly crawled my way over to it. a rabbit. red meat. I wouldn’t have to make fire tonight. god hasn’t abandoned me yet. 

“thank you” I whispered as I made it to the rabbit. I didn’t waste another moment before digging in. it wasn’t much but it gave me enough energy to stand. I grabbed my spear and made my way back yet again. 

I spent the rest of the night practicing starting a fire. I won’t let myself get sick again. I won’t die here. after striking up a few flames, satisfied, I let myself nod off. 

III. 

I've grown accustomed to life amidst this little forest. several weeks must have passed by now, but time makes little sense here. I seem to have made it through the worst of the winter storms. the snow hasn’t died down though, so maybe I've just acclimated to the cold. I've been able to eat nearly every night for some time, and cooked meat at that. 

but resources aren’t unlimited here. soon I'll need to decide how to move on. tonight I've decided to push my way to the far edge of the thicket, and hope for some guidance. the fog seems to be clear today so I should be able to see for some distance in the moonlight.

nightfall, I must go now. I grab my spear and set off. after some hours I reach the tree line. 

carefully, I peer out from behind a tree to avoid the moons gaze. it’s been so long I've lost all concept of what I'm hiding from, if I ever knew. 

as my eyes scan the horizon I'm left in shock. I look away and look back several times before I start to trust my vision. 

ahead the terrain climbs steeply, this must be the edge of the valley. as a wall to a stadium, a looming cliff lines the distance of the valley. a confusing site rests on top of the cliff. towering into the sky seems to be a pile of rocks, stacked so perfectly as one would stones on a beach. but these rocks were visible from miles. an obelisk. it must have been built by a human.  my thoughts are confirmed by some sort of structure coming in to view to the left of it. 

I wonder if there’s still people there, or if it was abandoned long ago. I honestly don't know which terrifies me more. what kind of person would choose to stay in this place?

judging by the distance, it would take me the whole night to reach the base of the cliff. if I'm even able to scale the face, I'll need to be prepared. there will be no turning back. I make my way to camp and begin to formulate a plan.

IV. 

three nights have passed. I've prepared two more spears, and stored up enough meat to last me a few days. I can’t last here forever. the fog is thick today, this may be my only chance. as sunset approaches, I take the risk and carefully make my way through the maze of trees. for a brief moment I pause and look back, to appreciate the only peace I have left to remember. I may never be blessed to feel her serenity again. I wind my way to edge of the thicket, just as the darkness of night creeps up to meet me. nothing seems to be following me, and the fog is still thick. I'm clear. 

I begin my ascent at a steady pace. the fog is so thick the cliff face is completely obscured. I'll have to trust that I can make it there before the sun rises. 

I'd spent so long in the thicket I had forgotten the intense weight of the snowfall in the open. I trudged on through the cold, twice the man that crawled into the thicket. each second began to feel longer than the last, each hour containing its own slice of eternity. I'm sure my pace slowed but I managed to reach the cliff face without a sign of sunrise. 

one deep, cold breath. I lunge upwards, gripping wherever I can make out an edge. I've never tried climbing a real cliff like this. luckily, all of my hunting had begun to strengthen my arms, and I propelled my way methodically up the face. yet by the time I was halfway up the cliff, my body ached and my arms felt numb from the chill.

I let go of my thoughts and reached upward. as I gripped on to the next rock, it crumbled in my palm. if it had waited a mere moment, I would have let go of my other hand and plummeted to my death. I struggled to find another grip, but eventually found my way. my body felt heavier with each pull upwards. by time I made it to the top of the cliff, my body had become so drained I was unable to take in my accomplishment or my surroundings. I fell to my knees. 

I quickly was snapped to attention by a bright light. I looked up and around for the source, to realize it was the obelisk I had seen from the treeline. it glowed in a color I had never witnessed, reminiscent of lush purples but eerie as a grey fog. in awe of its beauty and drained of all energy, my body froze as my eyes were consumed by the sight. the fog began to clear out as if being pushed back by the light. 

fear set in when I realized I was now completely visible. I looked up to the sky to find the moon peering in to my soul. it had a glow of the same nature as the obelisk, as if it was reflecting the same light I was shrouded in. I quivered. I could no longer hide. 

fear. beasts, love, death. many things cause fear in the heart of man. the fear I felt in this moment was not born of the same instincts. 

I began to cry as I felt the world around me acknowledge my presence. I was not welcome here. I felt my body succumb to the snow, as the light was ripped from me.